Press 1 if you think we are veterinarians and want free medical advice.

Press 2 if you know we are a rescue organization but want to save money and have us give you free, untrained medical advice anyway.

Press 3 if you make $200,000 a year but still want us to pay to spay the "stray" in your yard (house).

Press 4 if you have a 10-year-old Siberian and your 15-year-old son has suddenly become allergic and you need to find the Britt a new home right away.

Press 5 if you have three Siberians, had a baby and want to get rid of your Sibes because you are the only person in the world to have a baby and Siberians at the same time.

Press 6 if you have three Siberians, had a baby and want to place the baby.

Press 7 if you have a dying Siberian and you want to place it into another home so you can save the medical costs and not go through the trauma of watching it die.

Press 8 if you just got a brand new puppy and your old Siberian is having problems adjusting so you want to get rid of the old one right away.

Press 9 if your Siberian puppy has grown up and is no longer small and cute and you want to trade it in for a new model.

Press 10 if you are elderly and want to adopt a Siberian puppy who is not active and is going to outlive you.

Press 11 if your relative has died and you don't want to care for their elderly Siberian because it doesn't fit your lifestyle.

Press 12 if you are moving today and need to immediately place your 80 pound, 8-year-old Siberian.

Press 13 if you want an unpaid volunteer to come to your home today and pick up the Siberian you no longer want.

Press 14 if you have been feeding and caring for a "stray" for the last year, are moving and suddenly determine it's not your Siberian.

Press 15 if you are calling at 6 a.m. to make sure you wake me up before I have to go to work so you can drop a Siberian off on your way to work.

Press 16 to leave us an anonymous garbled message, letting us know you have left a Siberian in our yard on the hottest day of the year, which is in fact, better than just leaving the Sibe with no message.

Press 17 if you are going to get angry because we are not going to take your Siberian that you have had for fifteen years, because it is not our responsibility.

Press 18 if you are going to threaten to take your ten year old Siberian to be euthanized because I won't take it.

Press 19 if you're going to get angry because the volunteers had the audacity to go on vacation and leave the Sibes in care of a trusted volunteer who is not authorized to take your personal pet.

Press 20 if you want one of our perfectly trained, housebroken, kid and cat friendly purebred Siberians that we have an abundance of.

Press 21 if you want us to take your Siberian that has a slight aggression problem, i.e. has only bitten a few people and killed your neighbor's cats.

Press 22 if you have already called once and been told we don't take personal surrenders but thought you would get a different person this time with a different answer.

Press 23 if you want us to use space that would go to a stray to board your personal Siberian while you are on varcation, free of charge, of course.

Press 24 if it is Christmas Eve or Easter morning and you want me to deliver an eight week old puppy to your house by 6:30 am before your kids wake up.

Press 25 if you have bought your children a duckling, chick or baby bunny for Easter and it is now Christmas and no longer cute.

Press 26 if you want us to take your female Siberian who has already had five litters, but we can't spay her because she is pregnant again and it is against your religion.

Press 27 if you're lying to make one of our younger volunteers feel bad and take your personal pet off your hands.

Press 28 if your cat is biting and not using the litterbox because it is declawed, but are not willing to accept the responsibility that the cat's behavior is altered because of your nice furniture.

Press 29 if your two year old male Siberian is marking all over your house but you just haven't gotten around to having him neutered.

Press 30 if you previously had an outdoor only Siberian and are calling because she is suddenly pregnant.

Press 31 if you have done "everything" to housebreak your Sibe and have had no success but you don't want to crate the dog because it is cruel.

Press 32 if you didn't listen to the message asking for an evening phone number and you left your work number when all volunteers are also working and you are angry because no one called you back.

Press 33 if you need a puppy immediately and cannot wait because today is your daughter's birthday and you forgot when she was born.

Press 34 if your Siberian doesn't match your new furniture and you need a different color or breed.

And finally, press 35 if your new boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't like your Siberian and you are too stupid to get rid of the new friend (who will dump you in the next month anyway) instead of the Siberian.